EK000108_0010-0011

The Boy Fairy

A handsome young king fell in love with a fairy because she was sometimes transparent and at other times not. Sometimes she was thin and had no breasts and other times she was voluptuous and juicy. She kept disappearing and reappearing, always in a different shape but most often in the shape of a well-built brunette with a harp because she knew that was the king’s favourite. He was going crazy imagining a harem but he couldn’t afford to maintain one so, instead, he proposed to the fairy and they got married. And how happy they were bending over the cradle with a new successor to the throne.
When the little boy gained enough reasoning skills to have some fun his mother, the fairy, began transforming herself into metal birds that could walk and chatter. Sometimes she turned herself into a yoyo or a little train and then back into a yoyo so that the prince could enjoy these unusual toys, but he showed minimal interest in them, especially the yoyo.
Instead, he took to flying: disappearing and reappearing from an early age. Worse, he also began to emit light. This really bothered people throughout the kingdom: they never knew when the prince would appear above their beds, emitting light at any hour of the day or night. Consequently the birthrate dropped dramatically in that region. The neurological departments in every hospital were crammed with patients. Psychologists and psychiatrists were having nervous breakdowns themselves due to the surge in patient numbers. The whole problem was growing out of hand.
In the end the ministerial council made a decision: they told the king that it was up to him alone to resolve the whole unpleasant situation. And the king, having read all the grievances, realized his kingdom would be stocked entirely with subjects ruined by psychosis. At that point, he lost his temper and he crushed the fairy with what was, to be honest, a belated academic question: why did he marry her at all if he doesn’t have a prince for a son but only a boy fairy? In this impulsive fit of temper he was bawling and shouting so much that everyone heard him and then they started to call the prince the ‘boy fairy’ even though his name was Batul. And the queen fairy in a fit of motherhood also acted without thinking. She grabbed the first bottle that came to hand and, as this scene occurred in the royal kitchen, it happened to be a ketchup bottle with some dregs of ketchup still in the bottom. With her supernatural skills, she stuffed the king in the bottle and then herself and the prince. Then they all disappeared and the bottle too.
People say they’re still alive today but no one knows exactly where. One legend has it that the king and his son are still in the bottle where they organize parties which are better not mentioned (don’t ask….). The queen fairy allegedly keeps flying: disappearing and reappearing. The worst and most alarming thing is that she too emits light and really doesn’t have any shame about having learned it from her own son to whom she should have set the example.

O vílákovi.

Jeden mladý a sličný král se zamiloval do jedné víly už proto, že byla někdy průsvitná, jindy zase neprůsvitná, jednou tenká, jindy kyprá, mizela a objevovala se, létala a vznášela se - často v podobě vyvinuté brunety s harfou, to měl král velmi rád - takže šílel přímo představou o harému, na který neměl a tak vílu raději požádal o ruku a vzali se. To bylo radosti nad kolébkou nového následníka trůnu!
Když už chlapeček nabyl rozumu natolik, aby se trochu pobavil, proměňovala se mu maminka víla v jojo, v plechové ptáčky, ve vláček a opět v jojo, aby si princ pohrál s nezvyklými hračkami, ale on zvláště o jojo projevil minimální zájem.
Zato však začal létat, mizet a znovu se objevovat už od nejútlejšího dětství- ale co bylo nejhorší, začal si k tomu světélkovat. To děsilo poddané, kteří nikdy nevěděli, kdy se nad jejich postelemi zjeví světélkující princ v kteroukoliv noční hodinu a opět zmizí.
Na neurologických odděleních všech nemocnicí bylo přeplněno, psychologové a psychiatři se nervově hroutili, celá aféra narůstala, až se konečně ministerská porada usnesla a obrátila se na samého krále, aby celou záležitost urovnal.
Král si po přečtení všech stížností a po úvaze, že bude mít ve státě pouze psychozami zničené poddané, se neovládl a obořil se na vílu se zpozdilým dotazem, proč si ji kdy vůbec bral, když nemá syna prince, ale Víláka. Ve svém zkratovém jednání křičel tak a tak hulákal, že to slyšel kdekdo a všichni hned označili prince jako Víláka, ačkoliv se jmenoval Batul.
Královna v záchvatu mateřské něhy podlehla rovněž zkratovému jednání, popadla první láhev, která ji přišla pod ruku a byla to láhev se zbytkem kečupu, tam vstrčila kouzelným způsobem krále, prince i sebe a všichni odletěli pryč. Říká se, že žijí podnes, ale neví se přesně, kde.
Jedna pověst praví, že král i jeho syn jsou stále v lahvi, kde se konají různé večírky, o kterých je lépe nemluvit.
Víla prý však neustále létá, mizí a zase se objevuje, ale co je nejhoršího, ona světélkuje a nic nedbána tu hanbu, že to občíhla od vlastního syna, jemuž měla být příkladem.